The 10 Reasons Why Intelligent Men Fail With Women

 

so i know i am smart(read GURU).

 

i don't doubt it a bit. but i have had my fair share of issues with girls more is on the past couple of weeks...so i just had to copy paste this post. i'm sure more smart guys fall here...

REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT

smart guys are used to being RIGHT in most situations.

And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they're WRONG?
They find a new situation... one that fits their strength. They know they'll be right next time, so they just walk away... knowing that it won't be long before they're right again.
(OR they let the "problem situation" destroy them... more on that later.)

Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comes to women and dating is THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN AND HIDE.

There's no quick "I'm right" around the next corner to make you feel better.
It only takes "failing" with a few women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern... and realize that something isn't working.
Solution? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be good... so he just keeps thinking harder.
But when no success comes, it really starts
to become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hard thing for a "smart guy".
Accepting that you're not only wrong, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:

I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.

Try that on for a self-defeating idea.

REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone "dumber" than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an "obviously less intelligent person" before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:

If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50... but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?

It's an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who isn't the smartest guy around... but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals...
But now let me ask you:
If you'd like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?
There's something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this particular approach... once it's examined closely.
If you've been making this mistake, then you need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.
Look around.

Learn from some "dumb" guys... and let them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.

REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS

It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet that just don't GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.

It's as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games... and not worth the time it would take to learn them.
In fact, I believe that there are a lot of
smart guys running around this planet who don't
even have "social skills" and "be a cool guy that people like" in their "MENTAL MODEL" of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just that... SKILLS.
They're not social INFORMATION.
They're not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.

And you don't get them by THINKING about them. You get them by GETTING them.

Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans... and if you don't have good social skills, you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.

REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me...
They come up with all the reasons why everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.
They actually figure out why what they would like to do will probably fail...

They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.

THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
Now, if you've thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?
It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with women.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and they don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures. They're wrong before they even start figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things won't work in this area of your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this habit if you have it.

REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY "INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem... or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.
MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.
Don't know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147.
Don't know the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women?

They want MORE INFORMATION

.

They think the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life where the "get more information" strategy actually made things WORSE?
How would you even know that it was making things worse?
Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It's not.
But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn't going to help you very much.
You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!
You need to look at the REAL problem... the ROOT of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there's a very good chance that you have MORE than enough "information".
Smart guys often use "more information" to distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I've heard this referred to as "Creative Avoidance".
Nod silently if you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.
Good, thank you.

REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION

NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.
So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?
EXACTLY!
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that's where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with a woman you've just met, you are basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says "I don't get it when it comes to women" and putting it on your head.
Typical "logical" conversations include talking about work, family, school, and jobs... discussing politics, religion, weather... and anything that has to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say "OK, so tell me something... Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice guys... but they all date sexy, selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.

REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT

Smart people usually have time to THINK about things.
If you're taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers.
If you have a math problem, you can work on it until you've figured it out.
If you're trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it's fixed.
Smart guys are used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off their "good sides" in most situations.

Not so with women...

If you don't know what to do at every step along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.

Women have an AMAZING "He doesn't get it" radar system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the "get its" from the "don't get its".
And if you don't get it, then you're going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW that you were being tested... OR that you failed.
Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and especially the "women and dating" kind.
One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.

REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING "NICE" THINGS IS THE "SMART WAY"

OK, let me ask you a trick question:
If I told you that you were going to have a date with the supermodel of your choice, which of the following would you choose as a "smart" way of preparing:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be "wowed".
2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner... and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.
OK, time's up. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question.
The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.
But WHY?
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with her favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you want to talk about her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here...

Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.

Right?
In their minds, they're thinking "I'm going to be the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she loves... and she's going to see them and like me more because of it".
Makes sense... good math, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these "smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn't actually take a smart person to think like this!
In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman's ass.
And guess what?
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he's being such the charmer by using this "thoughtful" approach...
...and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who's trying to MANIPULATE her.

Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.

MISTAKE #9: ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE THE EXPERT
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be "right"?
Have you ever met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn't shut their "smart mouths"?

Over the last few years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again...

Smart guys don't like to be "beginners" at ANYTHING.
They don't like the idea of screwing up... especially if others are watching.
They want to maintain this "smart guy" image of themselves... so they try to always be "The Expert" at whatever they do.
Instead of saying "Hey, you know what? I'm a beginner at this... how do I do it? What should I do first? What next?"... and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they're beginners... so they wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It's OK to be a beginner.

MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER EMOTIONS
A smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.

His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.

Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Totally stopped.
FROZEN.
And since many smart guys aren't comfortable dealing with things they're not good at, they just repress or RUN away from fear.
Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation than admit that they don't know how to deal with their emotions... or, GODFORBID, ask for help!
Hey, I went for YEARS like this.
I know what it's like.
But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)... if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.
If this is you, then do yourself a big favor... take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you... it doesn't matter.
What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.
...I think the reason why I'm so fascinated with "The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet...
But I don't think mamma raised no fool.
And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out, I couldn't figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me that you know what I'm talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years... trying all kinds of crazy "logical" stuff... I finally got the "bright" idea to start studying guys who were "naturally" good with women.
Of course, I found out that you could be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the same time.
I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the "naturals" did with women... and learning how they "thought" about the topic, I began to realize that success with women wasn't entirely LOGICAL.
Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept... because my logical brain just didn't want to buy into it.
One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them... and having the women then chase them in response.
Made no sense at all.
I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces... and then watched those women become "little girls" in response... unable to maintain their composure, and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any woman's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date any type of woman I wanted...
...and most importantly, GET RID of that "empty" feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn't know how to attract women.
And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this area of THEIR lives together.
The ultimate result of all this time, effort, and energy is my free Dating Tips Newsletter.
And I'd like to invite you to sign up.
It's free, there's no obligation, I'll never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).
Of course, it even gets better than that...
In addition to my free Dating Tips newsletter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.

It's JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily.

this article is by David DeAngelo

http://www.seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/Before_PU/analyze/217.html

COLD SEASON BLUES

so today i'm blaming things...and people.things ain't going the guru's way and someone must take blame. call it making scapegoats in the air...haha

1.so its the cold season....or i think it is/should be. at least it's freezing today. to bad all i can do is wear socks and get into bed. it's too cold to even stay on the bed. aside from that it has been hot all week and the past weeks....more so yesterday. see i woke up and it was colder than it had been for the past couple of days.so i thought i could finally wear some of the warm clothes i had spent my time and money buying but can't wear them because our kenyan winter is turning out to be hotter than our summer. so i pull on a black tee, Burberry shirt,cosy brown wool sweater, Burberry scarf,cool trousers and some loafers.

of course i looked better than this....:-P

i'm looking good and smelling even better....and the weather is favorable (at least in school it was). so i make my way in to town. just as i get to westy i know i'm in for a long day. i was faced by a two faced weather.just as i crossed sarit it went from glum and cold to JUA KALI...in an instant.


by the time i get to tao, sweating and wrapped the scarf around my hand and not around  my neck. after some laps in town....i'm down to just the black t-shirt.scarf, shirt and sweaters held in my hand. i swear i was looking good(before i did went stripping in the CBD)...make that extra(i always look good) but now i just looked dumb.i wanted to blame it on the weather forecasters. problem is, they are always wrong. so i blame it on global warming.hahaha. i'm going green...and i so not drive so rarely contribute to the pollution. but are there electric motorbikes?:-P at least that will help me dress a jacket and scarf....even when its hot.

 

electric bike...hmmmm

weird looking electric bike

i can dress a jacket even when it is hot

or will this old school look b better

2. i have had a cold/flu all week. i don't know where from. i was watching Hit list on tuesday and there came the sneezing...and more of it in a few minutes. then the nose blowing....crazy.

haaacheew!

lucky for me i rarely get a fever when i have a flu.but unlucky for me, i was taught that no virus has a cure (blame it on the science teacher in primo...teacher Albert.i am so sure it was him.). so i do not belive in medicine for flu. i just sit it out and trust my immunity to deal with it(1st sign i do not have HIV/AIDS). i also blame the 'cold season' for the flu. i haven't been kissing of late and rarely leave the room.by the way, in the time as i was nursing my illness, i was given many tips on how to combat my flu, more so now that i did not use medicine.the one that stood out apart from the making a concoction of eggs(allergic), oranges and i do not know what....was that i should kiss any girl somewhere. those crazy moments when you wish it was Christmas and u have mistletoe swinging above your head...

mistletoe

i did not all week...but the flu is gone. that brings me to cold season blues number 3.

nursing my flu

3. they call this season the mating season.

i didn't say kill your mates when you mate

 4-6 months from now, you will realize many women are huge...not as in fat(they tend to get so any way) but pregnant. i am not at all getting cosy in this weather. it beats me( i don't fuck and tell....i'm not fucking and i'm telling...:-P) when you in campus, more so UoN...the sounds that you hear most nights are either room parties(i don't know what that chick who was dumped on waiyaki was doing in a 'room' party in westlands yet i'm sure they were a couple on campus)  or squeaking beds. it's a new sem and all this is non existent. i think guys left their dicks home and the ladies got dildos...i blame it on people listening to ciku muiruri too much. that's why i do not listen to radio nor watch telly.hahaha

ciku...you killing us guys

but why ain't i getting some?i blame it on the FWB line of mine not working.ladies are growing smart(ciku!!!). i can also blame it on the classes that are in session in school currently.we are just two classes.those above us look at us like kids, and those girls from out class...well, THOSE!:P

not working anymore...

let us mate this season...hahaha

4.increased prices. so those of you who live at home and parasite(accepted though) on you parents and guardians wouldn't know jack about inflation and the fuss on increased cost of living. i was on holiday so fell in that bracket. then i got back to school and reality hit me...on the face together with the cold ghasts of cold. in school there are 3 places to eat. one is so expensive that only lecturers feast there. the other two are affordable. we used to eat in the school cafeteria(mess) because it was way cheaper(on of the few advantages of being in a public university) but now they only serve rice. no ugali and no chapatis. i do not know what they have against flour. i can't feed on rice for a whole week...let alone two meals in a day. so i try 'outsourcing' some ugali, chapati or bread from outside....tricky. everything has gone up by 5 shillings. fries, smokies, sausages, milk, yoghourt...again, for those of you who live at home your faces are wry asking 'now what's the fuss about?' i won't even explain. i event wanted to buy an anti-janitor for my door. that has gone up also since last sem...by 100 shillings. i blame all this on the increased fuel prices...and uhuru kenyatta.(someone/something has to take the fall today)
:-(
on the other hand, i can now eat less...i have got 'comments' on my weight increase.hmmmm....

5. is it too cold to raev? i think so.... i was out on friday...ALONE!! first of all, if you are in nai...do not raev on friday. uptown thursday and saturday madness means friday has empty clubs. rhez was closed by 5(they had drawn the curtains...i can swear) changez was empty at 1AM and were unpitching their tents by 4.30...hmmmm. i like going out alone. it cuts down on the drama and you can let go and whatever you want.

and i did this like i never have

i had tried calling up some people  though so that we go out. you can guess what they said...'it's too cold'. there was however one group of people who did not seem to realize how cold it was....the Sudanese. these guys were beside themselves(kudos to southern Sudan for attaining independence). that and their being dark enough(or is it too dark) to conserve enough heat. or may be its the light colored clothes they adore so much. these clothes repel all cold...hahaha
you could feel the difference(i was in the failed Eskimo attire i tried to pull during the day).:-)



6. ramadhan is around the corner....and all this cold.now how will that pan out?

NAIROBERRY!!!

i had planned on spending my sunday indoors. despite my buying wrong cds...twice(i have this particualar series i want to watch but i don't know the name. i bought life as we know it and accidentally on purpose on two separate occasions thinking it was it...hmmm...talk about confusion). i had still planned on spending my day indoors before Boss(dad) called me and told me to go pick Rajab(long lost prodigal uncle of mine who was exiled in India because no one could live with him).

so i wake up earlier than usual and have my morning treat of cake, biscuits and milk in the morning sun.vitamin D moment i call it. then tweet away @meddyguru, update flowetree and after all i get to listen to some crazy beats as i prepare. so i'm off.a few steps into tao(from khoja to posta number 9) n i'm faced by this chokosh. now i'm a short guy, so most people will tower over me...and this guy was tall. he approaches with his dirty fist to got to and asks for some change...my first reaction is to run....which i do. so i duck him and now he is behind me. but the guy doesn't give up. he pulls me back...again...the dirty hands...now on my sweater(white). he goes on about how he is starving and has a kid who is sick. i normally do not give out change in town...even to the little kids.i wasn't going to give out this time...then shit happened.

after realizing i wasn't going to give him anything, he pulled out that weapon they have tucked in the inside pockets of their overcoats(it isn't a 9mm)but rather...a small tin full of shit. so now that we have a new deal on the table...we had to negotiate. so im like.'you want money for food, ok. lemmie buy you food.' by now we are at that baker's inn. so i get in, buy something the guy jovial on my back yapping away.  i hand him the food but he refuses and says he wants the doe.so i give him a 50.he asks me where i'm headed. south c...how much fare?50...i get his flow. i tell him to give me the 50 nad i hand him the 100 and we walk on...

by now many of you are wondering why i did not just take to my heels.or yell MWIZI! i don't know either. i thought after all the 'bonding' that was going on, he would just be satisfied and let me go. i had been forced to give away my belongings like 3 moths ago...happened in the same area. the incident was different. these were well dressed guys(obviously not dressed as well as i do) but not as muggers either. they made away with my 2 month old E-90, mob doe and my beloved ring.(i was a target because they assumed i had a laptop...im my man purse that couldnt even fit the E-90 SHAME) so you think when something like this happens again will b ready. i had even replayed what i'd do and say in case. i think i'm on of those cases of easier said than done...ama i sit easier thought than done.
to cut a very short story very short. the guy did not leave me alone. he made away with my phone...and the 100.haha he had almost dragged me to his colleagues...i guess i escaped that, the shit obviously and some filled up syringes he kept brandishing.
i hate the ghetto side of town(the other side of tom mboya).mostly beacause of the congestion and commotion. now i have vowed never to set a foot there again.
i eventually make my way to south c. i'm with akil's aunt and she tries consoling me with some stories of other pople who have been through the same.6 in the past week and herself...some years ago. she was actually smeared with shit...:P(that was conoslation enough). i call boss and he insists i have to make my way to the airport.honestly i was in no mood.i still blame the events on his sending me. but you don't say no to boss. so i make my was to JKIA.

last time i was there. man....i grow too fast.i ask around and get the international arrivals. prodigal nephew's flight was scheduled to land at 1.30. i was 30mins late. so i stand directly infront of the arrival exit....and wait...and wait...AND WAIT!!

 i go to the help desk but all i know is that it is a flight from india and was scheduled to land at 1.30. so they say clearing takes some time...so i go back to my spot...and wait. now everyone had placards with names of their respective customners. i wondered why i did not make one...:-s. Guys must feel goldy walking from arrivals and having a placcard with their name. i must try that...newho,Rajab is nowhere at 4. i have no phone to call home. tricky...i ask around and some vendor helps out. i ask boss and he tells me to wait out...again, you do not say no to boss. at 6 i just walked away. afterall, he can't call and fuss...